Hello, My name is Helen Nilsson. I am 38 years old and I suffer from severe depression, PTSD, anxiety, OCD and a light ADD.
The cause of my mental illness is my childhood, I grew up with an abusive stepfather and a mother who pretended I was only there to take care of my siblings and nothing else.
My stepdad would beat me, yell at me and terrify me daily. Telling me I was worthless, useless, he hated me because I wasnt his.
When I turned 13 and hit puberty he added sexual abuse to his treatment of me. By then I was to terrified of him to ask for help, to scared to say anything to anyone. My mother pretended it didnt happen, she had 6 other kids with him that she focused on instead.
No one noticed or saw me. I hid away, stopped talking to people, stopped interacting.
When I finally escaped them I was 19, I moved to my own appartment and with help from social services I got in contact with a therapist.
Almost 20 years has passed since then, I have no contact at all with my mother and my “stepdad” is in a different country. I’m on longterm sickleave due to my mental problems. I go to therapy every week and eat medications to keep my anxiety managable.
Through all of this, the past 20 years I have found the most relief from my own brain when I play games, on consoles or on pc. I have found friends that I talk to daily over the internet. Interacting with people isnt so frightening when there is a screen between us.
Unfortunatly, after being on sickleave for 20 years means I get very little money to live on. My current pc was built out of cheap, used parts, almost 8 years ago now. And it’s time to replace it, but I cant afford too.
So, I’m putting this fundraiser up, asking complete strangers who read my story to hopefully want to help me out a little? I’m not asking for a lot, I dont need the most expencive stuff. I just need enough to keep me ontop of my anxiety bubble.
Thank you in advance. And have a good day.